Over the years it has come to my attention that people – educated, cultured, or just very opinionated – tend to be very generous in giving advice. They mean well, for the most part but they often do not consider the result of their generosity.
Counseling, and food tastes better when you are hungry for it. Ever try and feed a child or a child when they are not hungry? Compare that with the feeding, both when they have enough hunger. The difference is Stark. The former would make them seem undesirous. The latter makes them seem ravenous.
When it comes to getting advice, people are in the same way.
Men, unlike women, feel more obliged to give advice. Women often want to vent frustrations, anger, and a myriad of feelings about situations and men want to offer advice on how to solve it. It is classic. The woman was never to find solutions, she would just wait. The council went unnoticed because there was never a need or desire for it.
Women have an uncanny ability to share information, insights, experiences, problems and concerns, without seeking or offering advice. Men have an innate need to solve problems, their need to be competent problem solvers goes back to prehistoric times, when their survival was conditional on resolving the problems of hunting and providing food for a family. It's instinctive.
Although it is rarely discussed, is council protocol to be followed. It does not matter if the advice you would give is of a personal or professional nature.
First, before you assert yourself as omniscient (which is dangerously close to being a know-it-all), understands that no one cares how much you know unless they know how much you care. If you really do not care if it is a person's situation improved or replaced with your advice, do not bother.
It is more important that you show that you not only worry about how a problem afflicting a person, but you have taken the time to understand the whole problem. In other words, to fully understand it. This is achieved by asking questions to go to the root of the problem.
Secondly, once you've established yourself as an empathetic listener, ask the person if they want advice. Leading with a question like, "I fully understand your problem, I have some experience, which may be useful for you. Want some advice?"
This allows you to gage their sincere interest in receiving advice. It's a simple premise: a person who is sincere about receiving advice, more susceptible to it.
On the reverse, as a person who really takes the time to understand the nuances, background and context of a situation or a problem is more qualified to judge whether they are really qualified to offer advice.
When giving advice to take these things into consideration and remember, sometimes a empathetic ear who understands and appreciates the problem is just as useful as a knowledgeable minds that are eager to dissect and solve it.
About the Author:
Gian Fiero is an educator, speaker and consultant. He specializes in business development, career planning, and personal growth issues. He is affiliated with San Francisco State University as an adjunct professor, and the United States Small Business Administration (SBA) as a business advisor, in addition to conducting lectures, workshops, and counseling sessions throughout the country.
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – Some Advice About Giving Advice
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